If I could stay pregnant I would! It’s a good thing my husband is very attracted to my pregnant body. I feel incredibly sexy once the baby emerges from my womb and makes his/herself well-known. The farther along I am the sexier I feel! For me it builds up. I gain strength and power for the birth. I love everything about enduring childbirth. The pain is powering & rewarding to me. I find great strength and confident. I love having the control of creating a life and bring it into this world. It feels so good to push through the pain. Feeling the baby move into the birth canal is relief. Having leverage during the pushes is soothing. During this time I begin to realize the journey is almost to an end. I try to savor the moment. I never push until my instincts want me to. The pressure soon turns to burning. Being able to reach down and touch the little life you have been growing for 9 months is right at your finger tips. I love that my body knows just what to do. The pain can be so intense yet it feels so good to bear down and allowed the child to slip out or to grunt and let the baby slowly slide its way out. Both ways have worked well for me since I listened to my body.
My 2nd child a bearded all. I pushed her out in two big pushes. My 3rd child I hardly pushed. I grunted through the contractions. I had a great support system that did not rush me. I felt her slide in and out many times. At times the burning and pressure would be so strong I would move and my daughter would slide back up into my birth canal. I had along labor but I very pleasant one. I remember knowing that was my last child. I didnt want it to end.
The feeling of not wanting it to end still didn’t go away after the birth either. My husband and I talked about having another child but knew that was not what we wanted. I wanted to create more lives. I wanted to release them from my body. I wanted to do what I was made to do. Have babies! He wanted me with child. He knows how happy & sexy I feel.
Then one day watching TV together we got the idea to for me to become a surrogate mother for someone that can not have their own. I have an incredible husband that supports me. He’s the best! We placed an ad on a few websites. We received several messages with questions from couples. We met with a few couples. My husband and I just did not have a great feeling.
They were not bad just not our match. We knew who we were looking for. We just were not meeting the right matches.
Then one day I got a phone call from a family member who heard of my interest in surrogate and knew someone, that knew someone, that knew someone from a grieve support group that had been desperately looking for a surrogate. They conceived their own children and lost several. She tragically gave birth to 3 stillborn before giving in to the complete hysterectomy. They wanted a child so badly and life had other plans for them.
They had tried other surrogate with several pregnancy that did not take. Losing hope they finally got the news they waited for.But their dreams were shattered again when the surrogate mother was in a bad car accident late in the pregnancy. From what I was told she was pinned in the car. The impact was on her side of the car. The placenta had separated from the uterus and by the time they got her from the car and to the hospital. Their was no hope for the baby. The surrogate mother gave birth to the couples stillborn shortly later.
They were so discouraged when we met. They had little hope and was ready to give up. When we met I knew they were the ones. Something told me just like the feeling love at first sight. I just knew!
I was afraid I would let them down again. I initially was not interested. I didn’t want to have a child so close to home. I was afraid to lose a baby or my own reproduction. Then I could not get them out of my mind. My husband and I met with them again and gave them the news I was willing to have their baby if they were interested in us.
I was pregnant on the first try! YAY!! It was amazing having life inside my womb again. It felt so right. I knew the entire pregnancy the child was not mine but I took great care of him like he was my own. The couple watched as their child grew inside me with frequent visits. The mother-to-be attended almost ever appointment. Daddy-to-be was at a few and every ultrasound scan!
I loved every minute of carrying this baby boy inside me. I began showing quickly. He sat low. Things looked great. Toward the end I was given an exam. He was low and been pressing against my cervix. I was 38 weeks and already dilated to a good 3 cm. Boo! I want to stay pregnant longer and enjoy the pregnancy and birth. 3 is not sounding good to me. My OB told us the little guy had turned. The pressure I was feeling was his butt and he was already in my pelvis a good amount. Funny cause the little guy was also in my ribs and sticking out pretty also.
The gave me a few suggestions on naturally turning him. unlikely to work since he was settled in. If he did not turn they would either schedule a c-section or induce me early and attempt to flip him while I’m laboring. Sniffle. I wanted this couple to have this little guy in their arms so I did not want to chance harming him for selfish reasons. If he don’t flip I would have the c-section when my body started laboring.
I tried the natural technic with no luck. The night before the ultrasound scan I woke up in a lot of pain. I remember my heart dropping thinking he’s on his way breach and needing to get to the hospital. I felt a lot of pressure and my belly was tight. My back hurt really bad. I felt like I needed to poop and knew something was up. Something was up alight! His little butt! He flipped for me. I felt like I had so much room left in me afterwards.
In the weeks to come little man tucked his head deep in my pelvis. And used up the room he made from flipping plus some. The due date approached. This was the most pregnant I had been ever. I was huge and loved it and hated it all in one breath! It was really hard for me to walk his head was really down there. The doctor wanted to induce me thinking I was too uncomfortable. Little did he know I was loving it! The next week I grew even larger. This week I got stretch marks. Something I never had before. The doctor sent us for an u/s scan.
Little man was getting big with no sign of wanting to leave the womb. Since I had successfully birthed other children the allowed him to stay but our comfy home birth was out of the question. The midwife could still deliver him but in a nearby birthing center with an OB in-house. He striped my membrane. Hoping that would start things up. If nothing started I would need to come in the following week to be induced.
The happy parents we Edgar to meet the little man and I was not feeling so sexy since the membrane being stripped.
A few days pasted and I was sure he would fall out of me or kick a hole in my water. Still no signs of coming. The week had gone by and the following day I was due for inductions the following morning. I took a bath and enjoyed the last night with the little man. Restless I managed to rest some. But was a woken by intense back & pelvic pain again. My husband rushed us to the birthing center hoping to prent this baby boy from flipping over. After arriving I was giving an exam and told he was still head down and he was not going anywhere but further down from here on out. The told me the pain was from labor starting and they would be keeping us. I called the parents. The decided to join us later in the morning unless needed sooner.
I had so much back pain this time. The contractions started shortly after calling the parents. They got strong and close quickly. The kept rolling. I had to stop and breathe through them after a short time. They checked me and I was 4 cm. After the exam the increased more. It was starting to become unbearable to me. I was losing control. I requested my midwife. She had just got there and she saved me! I was put in a cozy room. And I hopped in the tub for a while. The parents arrived. I did not notice them much at that point though. I was a working woman. They came and left the room several times through the day. After my water broke things speed up. Almost to fast for me to keep up with. I was 8 cms. I had been in labor for a while and was getting tired. No meds for me though! I stood up and leaned against the wall for a while. I could feel his head right against me cervix. I was checked and still 8-9 cm. I squatted and started feeling like he was too big. My husband supported me. I remember him reminding me the control is coming. Yelling me he’s a big boy. My body made him big for me to enjoy. My body is doing what I wanted. Turn the pain into control and tell the baby how to come out. He rubbed my belly downwards and down my thighs. My water went from leak to a gush and hormones ripped though my body. The pain turned into and orgasmic labor. It was amazing. I felt so much pain but I enjoyed it like I wanted!
I could tell I was dilated I felt him in the birth canal. I was checked. I was told not to push for as long as I could wait. The parents came in Edgar to meet their son. My husband was behind me and I layed on him as he held me while I grunted through the pain. I could feel him coming down. I pushed and I pushed. For the first time ever I felt like I wasnt getting anywhere by pushing. I could feel him bulge out but not move any. I did this for a while. It wore me out and discouraged me. I remember giving up. My MV had each parent grab my legs and my husband provide me support so I could push with all I had while I reached and felt the little man’s head!
He was still pretty far up but I realized he was close and it was up to me to get him out. He was big and it wasnt going to be easy. I pushed when I needed and grunted and moved when needed. Just over 3 hours after I was fully dilated he’s head was coming out. I could feel the fire and did what comes naturally I stopped the burn by letting him slide back in. My midwife and the parents were understanding she said when I was ready to let him out I would allow the burn. He could not come out until I tell him its ok. I was feeling a lot of contractions and really out of it. although I remember my husband and the parents playing with his head. He had a lot of hair and they were playing with it! Kind of cool the parents were able to touch their unborn son. It gave me my second wind and I pushed through the burn. His head was born and my midwife allowed the mother to come over and catch her son while I pushed him out. It took me several more pushes to get his shoulders out. But I was rewarding pushing him to his mother. I would do it 100 times over again.
It feels so good to look at the child you made! I was concerned how I would handle being a surrogate. I feared the feelings I had about giving the child to them. But to be honest it was just another great moment. At the moment the baby emerged from me. The couple that had been next to me the whole time became parents for the first time. The baby I grew inside of me meant the world to this couple. The became parents when I pushed their child out of my body. Just like I became a parent when I pushed my own children out. It was amazing and I was so happy I was privileged experience this with the couple.
My husband I have decided we would like to help another couple’s dream come true. We are done having children of our own but I am far from being done bearing children. We helped one couple have a child already. It was a very positive smooth experience and I would love to give another couple the gift of life. I have been given the green light from my OB/GYN and now my husband and I are starting our search for potential parents-to-be. I’m so excited to start looking. I just love being pregnant and want to share the gift of a child with as many people as I can!
I could not do any of this without the support of my husband. I love you honey! Thank you for standing by my side and sharing my body as it changes to create a life. I know you love it but I understand it takes effort from you as well. This truly means the world to me. There is nothing better than bring your children into this world but doing it for someone else comes close. I love you with all my heart!
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